


Snaps of life. .

by Surisun



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dealing With Loss, Diaries in a way, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, First Love, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Hurt, POV Stiles, Senior year of school, changing, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surisun/pseuds/Surisun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a short piece in Stiles POV , it's a sort of recording of how he felt in different events during his senior year.<br/>the wide spectrum of emotions a human being can feel under different circumstances. .</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snaps of life. .

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short work, still I enjoyed writing it ..Hope you enjoy reading it , too

Today is my birthday, I just turned 17.  
And right now, I feel like a child in a candy store ..  
I am too happy that I don't mind giving away some happiness to all miserable souls around the world,I believe I have that much of happiness store anyway. .

..I feel invincible...

so one may think I am on drugs or something but the truth is I am not, I am one hundred percent clean, I don't need drugs , I have my loved ones. .  
I spent the day with my dad , he had been working non stop for the last 2 months, and he is finely home today. .it is like he was out of town, I was barley seeing him at all , so we had a lot of catching up, after lunch we went to see mom , something we didn't do together since I was 12 .

For a few minutes, I had all my family togather again and it felt like heaven. .

Then dad took me to an old highway  
restaurant, few miles away from Beacon hill. It's basically a pretty crappy restaurant, but it was a place that we used to go to when I was little before mom got sick, and just for that, every item on the menu there felt like the most delicious food I have ever tasted..  
When we got home, the pack was there and they through me a surprise birth day party .  
There was a lot of pizza and very loud music that I still feel my ears buzz even more than five hours later as I lie on my bed , too excited to sleep. .  
........................... ...................

Things have been busy lately.  
With the dread doctors and the Chimeras, we are working on surviving one day in a time ..  
I barely see Scott these days ,unlike Theo, who jumps over me out of nowhere nearly all the time .

But there is something about him that doesn't feel right, it was my first instinct about him and I can't get over it, something really dark is hidden behind this yellow smile of him that nobody else seems to notice.  
I keep an eye on him, but I am devastated that my friends dosen't trust my judgement and they keep saying that I am overreacting , or that I am jealous, even Malia, the one person that I used to had by my side all the time. .  
But the truth is, things with Malia have changed, too, I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

She is still figuring every thing around her and it seems that I don't raise her curiosity anymore. It hurts, a little bit, because I did fill in love with her at some point, I did, but now, I don't know if I still do anymore,for some reason this love that came out of nowhere disappeared in the same method, one day we are lovers and the next we are not so sure, still, it doesn't make admitting this loss is any easier ..  
The truth is : Malia was my first girlfriend, and we loved each other truly, even if it did not last long, she will always be my first, and nobody ever forgets about his first ..

I guess we can always be freinds though. .

Now..  
I probably should go to sleep, I can't miss school tomorrow, I already missed a lot of days this semester. .  
.............. .................

I can't sleep. .

I can't even if I tried. .

I didn't sleep for the last few days..

The idea of my dad dying if I didn't keep an eye on him all the time is enough to make me avoid sleep like avoiding the plaque ..  
He had been in the hospital for 5 days now, Melissa says he is doing better but he barely wakes up for a couple of hours before slipping into his deep slumber again for the rest of the day. This is when it's my duty to guard him , to make sure he is breathing, and to fight my own tiredness, when it becomes too easy to give out to the hypnotising rhythmic pattern of my dad's breaths, calling me to close my eyes , I should resist..

I drunk 5 cups of coffee today, no one knows though, I put it in a plastic cup and pretend it is water, and even though I make sure to eat with it to avoid having an ulcer with all this caffeine,still, my stomach hurts a little.  
I don't know how much I can keep my act together before I collapse, but I hope my dad would be fine when it happens. .  
................................

I ignore Scott's message again , knowing that I have to lie and till him I was asleep or that my phone was dead or whatever other crappy lie ..

This has been the case for a while now , the way we dance around each other, metaphorically speaking of course , because otherwise would be so wierd, then again, we are supposed to be close friends ,the way we had always been. It is just that I can't get over my self and ignore my pride.. Scott broke me.. The day he choose to not believe me , his best friend and brother, and believed Theo , the shady stranger , that we knew nothing about .

I know I can't keep mad at him, though, he is my best friend since forever, but why should I respect our brotherhood when he ignored it before. .  
It is easier to ignore him after the adrenalin rush had faded and my dad being safe .

I tell my self I should be strong and fight my urge to call him every time I feel bored or every time I simply miss him , but deep down, I know I am being weak by choosing not fight my ego and try to fight Scott instead. 

I don't know if it is ever going to be the same, I hope so , I hope it is just a transitional stage and time would heel my open wounds and clear my heart ..  
It's Saturday night, I am playing video games, home alone ,and I terribly miss my best friend. .  
................................

Things feel a lot different the last day of school. .  
It's amazing how we don't look strikingly older compared to the beginning of the year, that if we do look older at all, however, I know we have changed a lot..  
Can you get THAT MATURE in less than one year ! 

Because many things feel way different on so many levels, we won a battle we never thought we would be able to won, but in turn, we made alot of sacrifices..  
I have learned some lessons. ..  
I am giving up things that I didn't think I could live without, and holding tight to other things that I never appreciate before.

I have this tinge of acceptance to whatever life brings, and even though it is basically what it means to grow up, I miss the ability to object and to refuse what I don't like while I question the fairness in it , it was easier back then , to tuck myself in this childish blanket under the name of innocence. .

But I am a grown up now, and grown ups know they cannot understand the reason behind everything in this life, still they have no other option but to accept it..  
As regarding the pack, life is taking us into a slightly different pathways from each other but without truly breaking us apart, so I am grateful. .I still see my friends and I still have my dad at my side, things are coming back to normal, Beacon hill level of normal anyway, I am working now on establishing new rules for my life while omitting others , and even though it is not my happily ever after but I do feel something that I didn't feel in a long time,

I feel invincible. .

...................................


End file.
